Sunday, April 29, 2012

Living the (suburban) dream

A few months ago in our discussions about when we might have a third baby, we thought we would be responsible and prudent in at least thinking about all the consequential or tangential costs of having a baby (once I started in on "its really not that expensive to have another baby--- we have insurance, swaddling blankets and onesies...).  True, its really not that expensive.  But, Baby Number Three means a little more than dusting off the old breastpump and recycling some white onesies.  It means carseat configurations, little boys moving into the same room together, and more months off of work.  For us, the biggest tangential cost of another little one was fulfilling one of my dreams..... a minivan.  Three carseats would not fit in either of our cars. 

God is Great and cares little for your "plans."  Our marriage has been nearly 6 years of a beautiful and chaotic surrender (albeit difficult at times) to that fact.  So, when I started feeling sick and tired one weekend and my temperature had not yet dropped (NFP'ers), and our "minivan fund" was at about $0.00, we naturally began to panic a little.  We were "waiting" for a boost in income, a new car, a new station in life...right?  Surely we can't be expected to achieve all we "need to" before this baby comes?  Well, once I let go of all of our worldly and trivial fears and anxieties (they really are very trivial), things started coming together for us and our little baby.  About a week after our positive pregnancy test my heart was still pounding most of everyday and then I heard on Catholic Radio (yes, I am turning into an old church lady) someone say "God knows what's best for you way more than you know what's best for you."  Wow, this person was talking to me!   It was so true, and I really began to let go. 

Once I "let go," I focused the energy I had been using to worry about things on filling the Minivan Fund and kicked it into high gear.  My friends must have been sick of hearing me talk about it.  I skimmed, reallocated, added the numbers, did the tax return again, added the numbers again, found little pockets of savings here and there, pleaded with the parents, and cashed in 29 years of untouched savings bonds from my grandparents and GREAT grandparents!  I scoured Craigslist and visited dealerships.  I spent naptimes on ConsumerReports.com researching our future swagger-wagon.  Things actually started coming together-- I got a lot more work all of a sudden in 2012 (God is so good), and new ideas for finding money kept coming to me.  (On a sidenote, when we were just out of law school, poor, pregnant and unemployed, Cody and I had a half-joking prayer in which we would ask God to bless us with "money in the mail."  The more we half-seriously prayed it though, we started finding checks in our mailbox.  Money is out there to be found sometimes). 

And the result of all of this, is our Suburban Swagger-Wagon.... our new (used) Honda Odyssey-- with leather seats and a DVD player.  What.   I know, I own a minivan, I should feel dorky or approaching some sort of life-crisis.  Certain of my friends tried to talk me out of it in favor of a cooler SUV.  But I feel really good and really proud of it.  For a long time now, minivan=3 kids for me.  And now we are living the dream:

 And The Dream includes two incredibly cute boys, and a handsome husband washing the new minivan.  I am lucky. 
 And a boy trying to swim in the water table full of soapy water. 
Happy. 



Saturday, April 21, 2012

Long Overdue Monthly Update: April 2012

Yes, I know I have been a slacker on our blog.  Our little home has been quite hectic lately with visitors, trips, holidays, birthdays and trials.  In an effort to preserve this busy time in our lives, I give you the following snapshot of our home:

What are we eating: Tonight we ate the classic all-american, coming home late, hungry and full of sugar from a birthday party meal: Macaroni and Cheese with peas and hot dogs mixed in.  I am not proud of this, but I am being honest.  Baby girl is eating a lot of candy and ice cream these days, which I am also not proud of.  Interestingly, I have never been a chocolate lover-- I can take it or leave and most of the time I just leave it.  The last week or two, however, has found me scavenging my house for chocolate....including a raid of the Easter candy on Good Friday.  Not proud.  Honest.

What are we reading: 
Cody: Husband Coached Childbirth and Natural Birth the Bradley Way (going on 4 months now--i'm not sure I can really say he's "reading" them, but they're on his nightstand).  He is actually reading The Water is Wide By Pat Conroy.
Erin: Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell-- its about 700 pages long and brilliant.  Gaskell wrote shortly after Jane Austen, and my sister has provided me with her novels since I got into my post-Austen slump.  I love it and highly recommend it if you need a good long book to sink into.  I'm also reading Do Chocolate Lovers have Sweeter Babies, and just finished Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.  I just checked out Natural Hospital Birth which I'll be excited to start.  Notice a theme?
Sean: Anything Berenstain Bears, including his Berenstain Bears Bible, which is actually a full length NIV Bible, with color pictures interspersed of the Bears practicing virtues.  Its really cute.  He is also having me read to him all of the OLD Winnie-the-Pooh books, which came to us from our grandparents' house, via my sister.  A.A. Milne's language is beautiful and whimsical and edifying to read, and we have loved watching Sean become engrossed in such quality literature.  We have finished The House on Pooh Corner and When We Were Very Young (a book of poetry), and yesterday we read half of the original Winnie the Pooh, which is actually a pretty good length chapter book.  As we were deep into our 3rd reading session Sean said "I could read all day!." 
Jamesie: Cannot sit still for a book.  Occasionally we peruse Brown Bear or a Sandra Boynton.  Are we neglecting his literary development? 

What are we talking about: 
Cody and Erin: What it will be like to parent a girl...natural childbirth...how to breathe through a contraction...goals for breastfeeding this time around---OK, that's mostly what I'm talking about to Cody.  He is gracious enough to listen and follow my musings enough to comment here and there.  
Sean:  The "why's" keep coming.  The other day, on GG's idea, we started writing a book entitled "Sean Brendan Groeber's Book of Questions for God."  When we come to the end of a string of Whys, or he stumps me with the first one, we simply write it down in his book, and one day he will ask God all of these questions.  A sampling from this week: "Why don't snails have eyes?"  "Why don't bananas have juice?"  "Why do mommy birds have eggs?" "But how did God put the baby in your belly?"  (yes, that is a repeat).  Sean has also been talking a LOT about Baby Ruby and Baby Jane.
Jamesie:  Not much.  Which means we are talking about a speech therapist if he doesn't start talking in the next three months, per his pediatrician at his 2-year check up this week.  We are totally OK with this route, but we are fine with how he is too.  I counted his signs in anticipation of his check up and I counted over 50 signs that he uses regularly on his own. He communicates great with us-- but not so much with people who don't know 50+ baby signs and how to interpret them (anyone besides mom, dad and seannie).   The doctor said he had never seen a baby with that many signs and still not talking!

Milestones and Accomplishments: 
SO MANY!
Jamesie: Turning 2!  (pics to follow).  And with the big 2 came a big boy bed and a move into Seannie's room.  The transition has gone...hmmmm....well, i guess.  They are used to going to bed at 7:30.  The first night they were asleep between 9:30 and 10:00.  It is now 8:30 and I just heard them again tonight.  there is a lot of giggling, screeching and some bed-hopping.  We are trying to leave it alone and let them work out sleep on their own.  This has resulted in some super naps during the day though (J still goes into his crib during nap so they can get some sleep separately).
Sean:  Had a big moment today when he got his first library card!  Its a big day in a little boy's life.  We barely made it 10 feet in our front door before he was sitting on the floor reading his new books (Berenstain Bears) from the library today.  He even wrote (traced) his own name on the "signature" line of his card.  It was very exciting. 
Cody:  Recently got a Not Guilty (!) on a trial for Murder.  I am so proud of him.  He had been with his client for 3 years and passionately believed in him and his innocence.  He took a chance going to trial and it paid off big time.  He got a directed verdict on the Murder and Man-1 charges, and a not-guilty from the jury on Manslaughter-2.  After the trial he was awarded the office "Trial Trophy" which Sean proudly walked around the streets of Charleston proclaiming to anyone who passed "NOT GUILTY!" 
Erin: Actually went to trial for the first time and got the civil-court equivalent of a Not Guilty (!) this week!  I work mostly from home, but occasionally am called in for big events, like this trial.  It was supposed to last 1/2 a day, and turned into a verdict for us, the defense, on the 3rd day.  Cody and I were scrambling to keep our house and family running this week, to say the least.  When Cody is in trial things are definitely stressed around here-- quick dinners, long hours, frazzled mom.  When I was in trial this week, things were upside down.  Without regular and reliable childcare, we had to divide and conquer--sending Sean to school 3 days this week instead of 2 and asking friends to graciously watch Jamesie, plus cody working from home a bit.  Baths (for the boys) were neglected, we ran out of milk (a severe crisis in our home) halfway through, and I'm still not sure what we ate for dinner any of the days.  But, this is the life we live and the one we choose.  It is messy, it is hectic, but it is fun and worthy.  We defend people who need our help, and that causes all of us to sacrifice.  Long hours for mom and dad and a meal without milk (gasp!) for the boys.  I think its OK for them to grow up being aware of the sacrifice we make and why it is good for us, and knowing they are part of that sacrifice too.   I certainly couldn't do this everyday anymore, but its OK once in awhile still. 

Our camera went on a brief vacation to GG and DaDa's house by accidentally stowing itself away in their luggage last weekend.  I have it back now so I will post some pics as soon as I weed through them!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Quick Quote

Sean chit-chats all day long.  You never have to wonder what's on his mind, its usually simultaneously coming out of his mouth.  The other night at dinner (as many nights seem to go), he was talking about anything and everything under the sun, woefully neglecting his chicken and broccoli.  Then:

Erin: Sean, I would like for you to do a lot less talking and a lot more eating.
Sean: That's just life, mom.

Wow.

Thursday, April 5, 2012