Monday, August 27, 2012

Martha, Martha

This post is about one of the most amazing people Cody and I know, his co-worker Martha Dicus.  Cody and I have had several conversations over the years that go something like this:

-"I think Martha Dicus is perhaps the nicest person ever made."
-"She's at least the nicest person I've ever met."
-"Seriously, I can't think of a plain nicer person, in the purest sense of the word."
-"She's the most thoughtful, generous, and genuine person we know."
-"I can't think of another."
End of conversation.

Martha spoiled our children, and I like to think it was because she liked them best of all the children she knew, or she at least thought of them as very special.  She and Sean were regular pen pals, only her notes usually came with a pack of markers, stickers, stuffed animal, new book or other toy, and as soon as she got a thank-you note from Sean (and too often without a thank you note), a new note with a special surprise appeared on Cody's desk.  This regular correspondence led me to think our children were special to Martha, until I once visited her office and saw an entire bookshelf laden with said markers, stickers, books and toys that she regularly sent out to the children of friends whom she loved.  I have a feeling there are many other families out there who think Martha liked them "best," or at least thought of them as very special. 

Martha was diagnosed with cancer last year.  It was a shock to the Public Defender's office and the hundreds of good friends (who, doubtless, each thought of themselves as "special" to Martha) around Charleston and South Carolina.  Martha had been sick, but in and out of work, and we wanted to do something special to treat her.  We had Martha and Rhett and Rhett's mother over for Easter brunch this year, and while it was relatively simple (although we did work to make it nice), Martha raved about each and every item she tried.  She took pictures of the boys, raving that they were the cutest, best boys she knew (how many other families heard that over the years?!) and genuinely enjoyed our morning together.  A few days later I got in the mail the entire DVD series of Downton Abbey, which we had chatted about and she said I would like, but I hadn't seen it yet.  She ordered me to watch it only when my back hurt from the pregnancy, and laying down in bed.  Martha, sick with cancer, losing her hair and her strength--concerned with me and my relatively uneventful pregnancy.  Shouldn't I be doing this for her?  When she first had to leave work, maybe last fall, Cody and I offered to bring a meal by her apartment.  She told us to come by on the appointed day, but when we got there she had made us lunch, including special kid-friendly lunches for the boys.  I was humbled. 

Martha was the queen of random acts of kindness.  Every year after the Big Library Book Sale a pile of carefully selected books appeared on Cody's desk.  We got a message on our answering machine a few weeks ago that there are 2 buckets of ice cream waiting for me in the freezer at work, just to get me through the last couple weeks of pregnancy.  Although I like to think so, I know we weren't the only recipients of such thought-out offerings of books and treats.  But, it wasn't just the little gifts of used books and markers for the boys.  Martha was good at the big things too-- like defending the lowest and most needy inhabitants of Charleston (and S.C.).  Or, nearly single-handedly arranging for an adoption between a young single mother and a family in want of a baby (a family headed by Cody's (and Martha's) future boss). 

While Martha did not share our same belief system, she was one of those rare people who can openly, without judgment, engage in a real, deep, genuine conversation about our beliefs, and discuss the points of difference in a very meaningful, yet loving, way. Cody and I often look to the lives of our Catholic saints for inspiration and example, but Martha could be the best example we have ever known of selflessness, humility, purity and generosity of spirit.  She never married or had children of her own, but certainly hundreds of families around South Carolina consider her part of their own. 

Sean asked me a few weeks ago what "shows" Ms. Martha likes to watch (he was looking for Curious George, Cat in the Hat, etc). I told him she liked Downton Abbey, so he asked if we could draw her a picture of Downtown Abbey.  We started it, but it was actually very hard to draw Downton Abbey.  We never finished it, and I regret to say we never got to send it to Ms. Martha.  I sent her a thank you note for a generous gift for Annalisa just the other day, and it never got to her. 

Martha died yesterday after a massive stroke, a complication of her recent illness.  While we knew Martha only for a few years, she has made a profound impact on us.  I can't imagine the sadness of the people she has known for decades after all the help and friendship she has bestowed on those lucky families over the years.  Its funny, death happens to every one.  Its an inescapable part of life, yet, it is still shocking when it happens.  I came down the stairs yesterday and Cody told me the news about Martha and I felt like a cannon ball hit me in the chest, exploding an involuntary fountain of emotion.  We haven't told Sean the sad news yet, but when we do we will be sure to explain that Ms. Martha now lives in a beautiful paradise with Jesus-- forever. 

Ms. Martha and Rhett with our "special" children during a P.D. softball game last summer. 

 
"Downton Abbey": To Ms. Martha, Love Sean.
 

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Cousins!

I hope to get more pics of our summer up soon.
In the meantime, Annalisa (aka "Sissy" still around here) met her girl-cousins recently.  Too much cuteness for words, so here are some pictures. 
Ruby was born in February, Jane was born in March, and all three will be in the same grade growing up--what fun!

Jane and Annalisa.  Cousins stick together. 

3 girls!  In tie-dye (thanks to AA), and matching headbands!  As we all know, I love to match the boys' outfits.  Now there are three girls to match as well :).  Given that we will only see the girl-cousins every few months or so, we I have to get my fill of matching outfits while they are together....

Ok, so I matched the boys with the girls too. Cousins! 

A pile of babies. 

Cat onesies, thanks to Eva!  Notice the bow in Sissy's hair.  it wasn't very secure, given there's not too much hair.

Annalisa and Jane.  After this picture Annalisa turned over from front to back.  3 weeks old.  Denise witnessed it.
 

Ruby and Annalisa getting to know one another.  Matching outfits compliments of GG, who loves matching babies as much as I do, and thanks to Zulily, has fun matching her 2 granddaughters :).

And someone else wanted to get in the picture. 

I couldn't resist this awesome family photo.  I'm lobbying to use it for the Groeber Christmas card.  Look for yours in the mail.  And, Ruby and Annalisa are actually matching in yet another outfit in this picture.  See if you can find our baby.
 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Catch up

Here are some pictures to go with our last post about our post-partum glow.  Enjoy:

There's been lots and lots of this--a brother holding Sissy

Lots of smiles.

An angelic baby sleeping when she's supposed to :)

And some severely cute and generous brothers-- here offering her all their legos....

And here offering her a sweet kiss, as well as all of the toy cars (by her side).  By the way, Jamesie has taken to showing affection for his sister by licking her.  He leans in for a kiss and at the last second sticks out his tongue and licks her head.  I find several lick marks a day, which look like cowlicks--with her hair sticking up.  They are Jamesie-licks, and if it happens after lunch, I find food in her hair. 
Domestic bliss.  Three children playing quietly on their blanket while Cody and finish dinner.  We don't deserve this life. 

And for fun, the new baby has brought a flood of new thoughts for the boys.  Here are some hilarious quotes we've heard around the house this week:

Annalisa was hungry and while Sean was kissing on her she started rooting around his face. 
Erin: Oh, Seannie, is she hungry?  Is she trying to eat your face?
Sean: No, I'm just letting her use my cheek as a paci.
Sure enough, Sissy had fully latched onto his cheek.  He was perfectly fine with it.

I was exhausted one day and Cody was teasing me saying "Oh, I don't know why you're so tired, its not like you were up all night feeding a baby", to which I said, "You're welcome to breastfeed her anytime you want."  To which Sean said: "But Daddy can't breastfeed her!  He doesn't have... He doesn't have... He doesn't have breast pumps!"

Finally, on the way to church on Sunday:
Sean: "Mommy, can you put some chapstick on Sissy's lips to make her look prettier?"

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Post-partum update

Annalisa turned 2 weeks old yesterday, which is hard to believe given how fast the last 14 days have flown by.  I said this was definitely my easiest birth-recovery, and I might say that about the post-partum weeks as well.  We have been lucky to have family in town for most of the last 2 weeks, and the following week, leaving us on our own only the last few days.  The grandparents have been taking care of the boys--I have always known how helpful they have been, but it hit home yesterday when I changed Jamesie's diaper and realized I hadn't changed him in 2 weeks!  Thank you diaper changers! All of this help has allowed me to cocoon with our new baby for her first few weeks, as is natural and good-- feeding her, going back to sleep (both of us), feeding her some more, looking at her newness and falling in love with her.

In our immediate family things have been going just as well.  I have the best husband in the world, and given his county-employer, he's had a good chunk of time off to help me with our changing family.  He takes the boys swimming, stays up late to give the girl her last feeding, gets up with her if she fusses after a middle of the night feeding, gets the boys up in the morning while I feed her, or go back to sleep, and is just doting on all of us.  Every so often he'll say something like, "I'm so proud of you," or, "you did so great in her birth.  You're awesome."  Given that I'm definitely a words-of-encouragement kind of person, this is going very far in the morale department for me, and I know he means it too. 

The boys are in love with their sister.  The only problem for us so far is peeling them off of her when she needs to sleep.  They are constantly kissing her, giving her legos, rubbing her head, trying to climb in her Moses basket with her, and trying to hold her.  She is going to be tough.  And a good sleeper--hopefully.

I am tired--exhausted-- but happy.  Cody went into work today for the first time and left me with all three.  I was terrified at first, but I keep reminding myself that lots of people do this--its totally normal to have 3 kids and to be left alone with them.  People survive.  And its going really well today!  Jamesie had speech therapy in the morning (he said "Mommy" and "Daddy" yesteray and tried "Seannie" for the first time, which are HUGE developments!  We are so proud of him for doing so well with his speech), then we went on a short walk--Sean is using his tricycle for walks so Sissy can have his seat in the stroller--his idea--so sweet, then we watched some Olympics, had lunch, and the boys are down for their naps now.  Domestic bliss. 

We bought a new computer the other day and I can't figure out how to upload our pics yet.  As soon as I do I'll add some cute ones of the boys with The Girl.