Do you think his parents are lawyers?

I hear this from the other room while making lunch today:

Jamesie: Crying.
Sean: Mom! Jamesie assumed the risk!

And more theological philosophizing today:

Erin: Sean, you are the most beautiful creature ever made.
Sean: People aren't creatures!
Erin: Sure we are.  We are the creatures and God is the creator.
Sean: You mean God the Father, the Lord, the Giver of Life?
(Yes, I meant that one.)

Later:
Sean: Mom, where is the garden that Adam and Eve lived in?
Erin: No one knows for sure.
Sean: But it is on Earth.
Erin: Yes, it is on Earth, no one knows where though.
Sean: I think maybe in Denver.
(think he enjoyed our trip to Colorado? Denver = Paradise)

And just now as I type:
Sean: Mom, when is God going to put another baby in your belly?
Erin: I'm not sure, I think we'll wait until Sissy is grown up a little bit though.
Sean: Why?
Erin: Well, remember how much my back hurt when I was pregnant with her?  I think we need a little break.
Sean: God told me in my heart that He'll wait until Sissy is four until he puts another baby in your belly.
(Wouldn't that be nice?)

Colorado, Rocky Mountain High....

We had an awesome Thanksgiving week spent all the way in Colorado!  We've travelled up the east coast and to Michigan with the boys a few times, but this is by far the furthest we've ever gone with all three.....and they did awesome!  We have experience nearly every travel catastrophe out there, so we were over-prepared for the flights-- we were like FEMA--prepared for disaster.  And no disaster struck.  In fact, we were in disbelief about how well it went.  It went so well the Notre Dame game was actually streaming on the airplane for free.  Jamesie and Annalisa slept while Sean, Cody and I watched the Irish beat Wake Forest. 


Super-dad on the flight to Denver with three kids at once!

When we got to Denver we drove up to Ft. Collins to visit my cousin Jeff and his family, including two little girls Mckenna, exactly Jamesie's age, and Elin, 2 months older than Annalisa.  Our good friends from Charleston, Luke and Andrea, recently moved to Ft. Collins, so we got to spend some awesome time with them as well!  Jeff and Shannon live 2 miles from Luke and Andrea and they actually all go to the same parish.  It was awesome to see all of them and have all the kids play together.  Unfortunately, didn't bring our camera over to Luke and Andrea's :(.

Our guys had a blast with cousins Mckenna and Elin.  

Two of Jamesie's favorite things--something with wheels to push, and a baby.  Score.

These guys are just 12 days apart.  We think they have similar cheeks and smiles and bedhead.

Smiley babies Annalisa and Elin!

Mckenna has her very own swing set (with a double swing) at her house.  This blew Sean's mind.  Later when I asked him what was his favorite part of Colorado he whispered in my ear "Mckenna."

 

Down in Denver, we saw Buffalo Bill Cody's grave, and hunted for some buffalo ourselves.  I told Sean the night before we were going "buffalo hunting," meaning we're going to look for the herd of buffalo that hang out by the highway outside Denver.  He responded "I should have brought my bow and arrow if we're going buffalo hunting." 

We visited Red Rocks where Cody, Sean and Jamesie climbed all the stairs!  Well, they all went down and Cody carried 2 boys all they way back up!  Given this was our second day in Denver, the conditions were perfect for getting altitude sickness, which hit Sean pretty hard the next day after running around for hours at Red Rocks and Buffalo Bill's grave.  He described that his "forehead hurt," and "I know I'm sitting up straight, but it feels like I'm sideways."  For the next 3 days he maintained a steady diet of Gatorade. 

Cody and Sean at my aunt Pat's, where we stayed in Denver. This was our view every morning.  I think Sean is feeling sideways in this picture.

Between all of my first cousins, there were 4 babies under 8 months.  So, there was lots of this to be seen.  As soon as one of us got up from this picture the fourth mama actually sat down to nurse as well!  I guess there is a universal 11:00 a.m. feeding for babies :). 

 

We had 51 people total for a Wednesday night celebration and a few less for Thursday Thanksgiving, but still a ton. All of the people in this pic are my aunts/uncles and first cousins and their kids.  My mom is 1 of 9 children, with 8 still living.  7 of the 8 made it to Denver this year.  It was a really special gathering!

Heaven is for Real....

Sean is philosphizing about Heaven today---here are some excerpts:

Sean: Is there food in heaven?
Erin: Yes....anything you want to eat...

The resulting interview (I am questioner, Sean's answers):

Q: If you could have one thing for dinner in Heaven what would it be?
A: Hamburger, with ketchup and mustard and a bun on the side and lettuce on the side. 
Q: What about dessert?
A: A candy cane for dessert.

Q: If you could have one thing for breakfast in Heaven what would it be?
A: Oatmeal with blackberries and cinnamon.

Q: What about lunch in Heaven?
A: Blackberry oatmeal with cinnamon.

Q: If you could play one thing in Heaven, what would you play?
A: I would play Lightning McQueen Cars with Dad.  No, I would play it with God.  And Jesus.

Q: If you could talk with one person in Heaven, who would it be?
A: I would sit with Annalisa and she would talk.

(Sean's Question: Are there books in Heaven?):
Q (Erin): What book would you read in Heaven?
A: Tales from Radiator Springs.  We saw it at Costco.
(Sean: Can I write really big words in Heaven and read really big words I can't read now?)

Q: What Saint would you like to meet in Heaven?
A: I'm not sure.  I'd like to meet St. Brendan.

Back to Sean's questions:
-Can God read what you are writing right now?
-How did Jesus get in Mary's belly?  Well, how did God put him there if God wasn't born yet?  Are God and Jesus two different people?  Do they look different?  Is Heaven in the middle of the sky?
-Does God have a computer he can write things on?

Q: If you had one question for God, what would you ask him?
A: How can you fix the volume on this toy? 

Earlier today we took Annalisa to her 4-month well check.  In the car on the way there Sean said:
"I need to tell Dr. McGaha (our pediatrician) that I hear God talk to me in my heart sometimes." 
Sure enough, we (I say "we" because he made me tell Dr. McGaha about hearing the voice of God) did tell our doctor, to which he had a very good response, "That is so special Sean.  And you know it is God because he always tells you to do good things."  Well put. Glad he didn't suspect pediatric schizophrenia due to the voices.

Sean also asked in the car today: "Why can we eat apples if God told Eve not to?"  Great question. 

I love his wonder, curiosity, search, and innocence. I love that he is naturally inclined to find the truth.  I love that he thinks.  I love him.  How do I preserve these qualities as he grows up?!

We Three Kings of Orient Are...

Ridiculousness from the Baby Jesus Birthday Party at our Catholic bookstore yesterday.  At least Sean enjoyed it!

And the winner is....

After scouring the blogosphere for un-swaddling techiniques, the winner seems to be the one-armed-bandit:

We had success this morning-- finally succumbing to sleep at 9:45 (for her 9:00 am nap).  She slept last night *most* of the night with one arm out.  I definitely had to help her getting to sleep by putting the paci back in a few times (don't worry, she did not cry from 9-9:45 this morning).  She did wake up at 5 this morning when cody found her in the corner of her crib (another reason to get rid of the swaddle), at which point he wrapped up both arms.  I fed her at 6:00 and she went back to sleep until almost 7:30.  Morning nap rocked from 9:45 to  11:30.  I feel progress. 

I've created a monster....

$20 and a lifetime of thankful prayers to the person who can get my sweet baby to sleep without a swaddle.  After 4 months of bragging about how great of a sleeper our baby is, its coming back to bite us ("all we need to do is wrap her up in a swaddle, put a paci in, and she goes to sleep by herself!  She'll sleep 12 hours by herself!" Oh how smug we were.)After 5 nights of waking up with her in the middle of the night as she tried to roll over in her swaddle, I am exhausted and getting sick with a cold.  So, I tried to put her down without the swaddle today, which resulted in utter disaster.  I tried just wrapping her bottom, I tried wrapping one arm and letting on free--nothing worked.  At 3:00 this afternoon I gave up and swaddled her completely.  At 3:15 she fell asleep for her 1:00 nap.  I might go crazy.  I nursed her to sleep for one nap and rocked her back to sleep when she woke up.  These are things I NEVER do-- I am usually Babywise-scheduled by the book.  But, I am at the end of my rope.  How do I get her to sleep without a swaddle!?

A play by play of this afternoon's nap which led to my mental-break at which time I called my sister crying:

About 2:00 pm, after nursing and rocking her to sleep.  Finally sleeping, yet her comfort position is with her one little finger inside her paci. 

Hmm, she's asleep, I have a splitting headache.  I guess I will escape while she's sleeping, even though this set up seems a little precarious.  Any sudden jerk could compromise this peaceful scene. 

And at 2:10, said jerk happened.  Screaming chaos ensued. 

At 3:00 I threw in the towel, wrapped her back up and rocked her to sleep.  3:15.  Just in time for the boys to get up.  And, yes, I thought laying her the opposite direction would help her sleep.  Above her head are all manner of things we have used to wrap her up in the last few days (another problem is she's breaking out of her swaddle, which is why she needs to learn how to get back to sleep without it!).  Yes, Cody wrapped her in a bath towel last night at 4:30 a.m. when he gave up.  I guess he threw in the towel too. 

Public Service Announcement:

This is the face of the victims of Over-Aged Driving:

 

This morning we were driving home from the library when an elderly woman hit us directly in Annalisa's side door.  Luckily, none of us were hurt, excepting our Swagger Wagon, which is completely out of commission.   Almost immediately I knew the kids were all OK, but the shock and terror of being T-boned right where the baby sits was too much for me and I became unraveled pretty quickly.  EMS, fire, police, etc arrived on the scene and everyone agreed the kids were fine.  Sean continued to read his library books in the back of the car while police reports were filled out.

 

The woman who hit us, on the other hand, I would argue is not fine.  In the head.  After she hit us she wandered up to our car (we were driving down a large four lane highway and she pulled out of a parking lot directly into our car) and said "you came out of nowhere!"  No, I was driving down the street and you hit us! 

 

Then, she looked in the car, saw all the kids and said, "Well at least it was just you and the babies in the car." W-H-A-T???? As opposed to.....?  What would have made this situation any worse?  More than three babies in the car?   

 

If you are senile enough to say this, please, hand over the keys.  You should not be driving.  Anywhere near my children.  (By the way, her car was low enough that impact struck below the baby's carseat-- thankfully. Our guardian angels are working overtime again.).  

Watching the Irish....

....because that's what we are (nervously) doing right now, and apparently, that's how my husband spends his 1-on-1 time with all of our children:

The King's Speech! (Well, Jamesie's Speech)

I've been going back and forth on whether to write this post, and have waited a while to do it, but here goes.  If you have seen us in person lately, you will undoubtedly notice (a) our children are amazingly cute, (b) Sean is constantly talking, usually asking "why..." and (c) Jamesie is not talking at all.  In all respects but one, Jamesie is a normal 2 1/2 year old boy.  He is sweet, especially to his Mama (OK, so Cody describes it as being a "mama's boy"...and I'm OK with that for now), protective of his baby sister, engulfed in anything that has to do with a train or a truck, stubborn to a fault, and mischeiveous with the most endearing "I'm too cute to punish" smile.  However, when he turned 2 last April, he had no words.  I thought he had a few words, but at a speech evaluation I was educated that those were actually "word approximations," and he in fact has no words.  By the time summer started, I had never heard him say "Mama" or "Mommy."  In his evaluation at 2 yrs 2mo, the Lady asked me if he could say two-word phrases like "my brother," referring to Sean.  I told her that if I heard him say a two-word phrase I would probably fall off my chair in shock. 

After a few evaluations and way too long working the state-bureacracy red tape, we were finally assigned a speech therapist.  A few of our cousins had gone through speech therapy at this age, so we thought this was just par for the course and they would have him up and talking in a few months.  Our speech therapist looked at Jamesie for about ten minutes and said she thought he had Speech Apraxia, which is a much more involved disorder than just being a "late talker."  Apraxia, for short, is a neuro-planning disorder in which the brain has a difficult time sending the message to the mouth to communicate.  It takes a LOT of planning which most of us don't ever have to think about to talk.  Kids with apraxia have a really hard time making sense of all the planning that goes into every sound and syllable, and then stringing them together to make words or sentences.  I'm not sure if this is accurate, but the way I think about it is this: Normal kids learn how to talk.  Kids with apraxia need to be taught how to talk.  So, 6 months in, we are teaching Jamesie how to talk. 

Here is the good news about this situation:
- In all of Jamesie's evaluations, he is cognitively on track with other kiddos his age.  He is smart. 
- We have a wonderful therapist, Mollie, whom Jamesie responds awesomely to. 
- With the apraxia diagnosis, we get Mollie twice a week at our house!  She has become a welcomed staple in our home Tuesday and Thursday (and sometimes Saturday!) mornings. 
- Because I like the idea of baby sign-language for any baby, I taught Jamesie (and Sean) sign language from a very early age.  They both started using their first sign around 6-7 months ("milk").  Jamesie has picked up sign language so well.  By the time he was evaluated at around 24 months, I had made a list of over 60 signs he used regularly.  He had even started using two-word phrases in sign (the first I remember, before he turned 2, was when a little girl got up in church to go to the bathroom.  Jamesie signed with a questioning look to me "baby, potty?"  I answered, yes, she is going to use the potty!).  Many kids with Apraxia aren't taught sign language until their first therapy session.  Jamesie had the language-equivilent in sign language of where he was supposed to be with spoken language (50+ words, starting 2 word phrases), which proved that (a) he was cognitively understanding everything, and (b), he can make his hands say the words he wants to say, he just can't make his mouth say the words. 
-He is making AWESOME progress.  He has so many new words lately, its amazing.  He says "Mommy," and when we tuck him in at night he says "Love you."  He says a ton of other words too.  And, while he's not trying full sentences yet, I have heard him try a two-word phrase here or there, although nothing regular yet.  The first time I heard it I almost did fall off my chair--except I was nursing Sissy, so good thing I didn't.  Cody was reading him a book at bedtime and he kept saying something, over and over.  Finally I heard it, and yelled from the other room, "Three bubbles!  Three bubbles!  he's saying three bubbles!  Oh my gosh, do you hear it!?  He's saying three bubbles!" 
- One of our stated goals, which we are told is completely reasonable, is to have him kindergarten-ready by age 5.  Jamesie works so hard right now and has made so much progress, I have no doubt he can do it!
-We "caught" his apraxia on the early end, at 2 yrs 2 mo.  Some people don't start therapy until 3 or 4 years old.  Early intervention is the best chance at success, and getting started just after 2 is on the early end.  I am forever grateful I kept pushing our pediatrician and stuck with it through all the red tape. 
- Our family has been awesomely supportive.  Everyone works with Jamesie and respects that he CAN understand everything, he just can't get words out sometimes.  My Aunt Anne is a speech-teacher in Albany public schools and was so supportive with phone calls and encouraging notes/texts/emails when we first got his diagnosis.  The diagnosis is pretty overwhelming sometimes, knowing that we will be at this with him for many more years to come, but having a supportive family around you eases the burden a lot.

There are definitely some challenges that come along with this diagnosis, which we have to acknowledge, but I try not to dwell on (cody might have a different perception about whether I dwell on the challenges).  One of the symptoms of apraxia is choking.  The diagnosis explains to some degree the four times we have had to give Jamesie the Heimlich for full-airway blockages, and the 2 911 calls.  While its good to figure out what is going on, it is completely unnerving knowing it could happen again at any time.  I think the most commonly heard phrases in our kitchen are (a), "You need to cut that smaller for Jamesie," and (b), "Jamesie, use your teeth.  Show me your teeth."  I would say I probably watch him eat 90% of his bites, and eat most of my meals with a low-level constant anxiety in my stomach.  If I leave him with a babysitter its usually mac n cheese and applesauce.

Yes, there are social situations and educational challenges to keep in mind.  He can't answer someone in the grocery store who asks him how old he is, and he can't tell another kid on the playground or at a birthday party his name.  He finds it easier to play with his trains by himself than to "talk" to other kids. Our home is strewn with flashcards and word games. When he starts talking regularly, it will be hard to understand him and we'll still have to work in therapy to get the sounds right. We'll have to coordinate his speech services with Sean's kindergarten next year, and once again navigate the bureacracy of special needs in this state.  But, people have gone before us doing this.  Someone has those things figured out, and it will work out.  He is developing into a beautiful, precocious, stubborn, compassionate little boy.  He has a beautiful heart and soul and for that we are ever grateful.

And, one thing we have learned about our two year old, is that he's an incredibly hard worker!  It's hard to sit through session after session of therapy, and its hard to not be able to say what you want to express, but Jamesie works so hard at it!  Here are some shots from the last few months to prove it:

Sean often works on Jamesie's words with him.  It's so cute and they both do so well. 

Sean says he is a good speech-therapist.

Here is Jamesie working on his words all by himself.  He's so good.  He will often find his bag of words and get them out by himself, and I will find him like this, or hear him in his room practicing his words. 

Jamesie and Ms. Mollie working on a pumpkin craft before Halloween.  He loves his lessons with her, and on days she's not here is constantly asking for her.

Daddy and Jamesie working together on a Saturday morning. 

When Emmy was here for Sissy's baptism she did a whole lesson with Jamesie.  She had read a book about Apraxia that my speech-teaching Aunt Annabelle had, so Emmy actually had a pretty good working knowledge of apraxia when she came down and was glad to work with Jamesie!  Jamesie responded really well to Emmy and opened up and practiced his words with her.

Maybe because Emmy was non-threatening, or because she didn't demand he speak, but waited for him, listened to him, and was patient with him, Jamesie showered her with affection and snuggles all weekend.  When you hit Jamesie's sweet-spot the rewards are wonderful!

 

So, the take-home from this post is (a) Jamesie is awesome, beautiful and amazing; (b) He will be kindergarten ready in 2 years, and (c) If your mommy gut is telling you something is wrong, push your doctors and get answers early.  Early intervention is the best medicine! 

 

To learn more about Apraxia, check out the Childhood Apraxia of Speech Association of North America: www.apraxia-kids.org

 

My husband...

 

This is my husband.  I love him because he gets up early with our boys, changes nasty diapers, and feeds them breakfast while I feed and snuggle our baby.  I love him because he cooks dinner, helps me fold laundry and watches Disney movies with us on Friday nights.  I love him because he has no shame carrying my Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag (left) and because he wears tie-dye v-neck t-shirts his little sister made for him.  In public.



Happy Halloween!

One Little....

Two Little...

Three Little Indians!

 (feather, not dot).

A Sho-Sean-ee Indian! 

If you haven't been to our house lately, Sean is on an Indian kick.  We have read nearly every book the Charleston County Library system has about Indians, read about Lewis and Clark, studied Indian face paintings and practiced killing buffalo.  He was so ready for this costume.  It was a blast to make and I am so proud of Sean for all the effort he put into it!   

After all his research Sean requested that I be Sacajewea and Sissy be her baby, named Pomp.

Did you know that Sacajewa was actually  married to a good looking lawyer?

And did you know that little indian braves really like tootsie roll pops?  To add to the aunthenticity of the costume, Jamesie put diaper rash cream in his hair (and all over his body) before our Halloween party to achieve this mohawk. He then smeared his red face paint all over his face to get the post-battle bloodied look. 

 

Just for fun.  How can you resist this smile? 

 

We'll be out trick or treating tonight, and hopefully have some more sweet pics of our three little Indians later...Happy Halloween!

Boone!

Cody's sister Meg and her husband Tim and their sweet baby Ruby live in Boone, NC.  Boone is awesome in the fall-- it actually is fall, unlike Charleston which still feels like Michigan in July, even though it is now Halloween.  Every year since Meg and Tim have moved to Boone we've tried to go up to visit in mid-October.  Sean constantly talks about Boone as if it were Disneyland.  He likes to plan our next trip to Boone, plan what toys and books he will take with him and what we will do (usually involves throwing leaves with Tim in the front yard).  This year lived up to his dreams....

Sean waiting for the leaves to fall in the front yard so he can gather them and throw them.  

Meg and me at the Farmers' Market with our sweet babies in varying degrees of wool.  

You would never know it, but its actually about 60 degrees in this picture.  Sean was so excited to get to wear gloves, he wore them for about 6 hours straight on Saturday. He also needed his hood on at all times and needed to drink hot chocolate to warm up.  

Here is Sean on our hike.  The theme from Little House on the Prairie is playing in the background.  Gloves still on.  There were some horses on our trail and when we first saw them he said, "There must be Shoshones  (Indians) around!"  We learned recently that the Shoshones were great lovers of horses.  Therefore, where there are horses there are Shoshones.  He also asked a woman with feathery gray hair on the trail if she was an Indian.  

Baby in a backpack!

Cousin Ruby.  The boys LOVE her.  Can you blame them?  She is so sweet. 

Satisfaction.  

Love. 

They are practicing for their modelling job for the Kelly's Kids catalog. 

Throwing leaves....I've been waiting for this all year!

The picture is kid of dark, but you can get the picture-- We are hiking with many children strapped to us in different ways.  I like to call this look "Crunchy Catholic."  

A view from above with three of the four babies with us.  I love this picture.  Everyone doing their own thing.  

Some thoughts while walking...

Between Halloween costumes (forthcoming) speech therapy, pre-school, breastfeeding and sleeping, I realize I've been neglecting our blog for sometime now.  I'm going to try to be better.

  The other night I was going for a walk/run in the neighborhood and a thought occurred to me.  Over the last 4 years I've been pregnant 3 times.  3 times my body has housed another person, expanded and shrunk 40+ pounds, and then sustained that person on nothing but my own milk for another 6 months.  I am tired and worn.  In this very fertile stage of our life I found myself wondering why (and how) I try to get back in shape and "get my body back" during these brief windows of not being pregnant or post partum.  It's like I need to reclaim as my own what has been given over to another person for the past year. Being pregnant is hard.  Its nauseating and painful.  It stretches muscles and ligaments, shifts bones, bruises and breaks your body in ways sometimes temporary and sometimes permanent.  Delivering a baby out of your body is hard work.  It breaks you in mind in body.  You are simultaneously at your most vulnerable and most powerful, as you are using all of your strength and will to produce another whole person.  Breastfeeding is hard.  Physical pain and sacrifice at first, time and energy sacrifice as it goes on.

As I was walking and thinking about these things, I wondered if there was even a point to me trying to "get my body back" when for the last four years, and likely a few more years, it belongs to someone else?  Am I here for any other purpose other than to house and feed the next generation?  Is this the reason God made my body and put it here on earth and then gave me Cody?  For the good of the people we make together?  I almost feel used. My body is (and thus I am), here for other people to use.  I feel used up sometimes-- sometimes broken, like I will never be my whole self that belongs only to myself again.  Then, as my walk turned to home, I realized the beauty in being used and broken for the good of someone else.  My God, literally, My God--did the same thing for us.  He was put on earth to have His body used and broken.  His mind and his will tested to the limits.  So yes, my body is being used in this vocation.  It is sore and broken and tired.  And dignified.  And the suffering required for the good of another person (or three little people) is sanctified because Jesus did it first for us.  When He was at his most vulnerable-- stripped, beaten and broken, He was ironically at his most powerful because his sacrifice was powerful enough to save the whole world.  At my most vulnerable during these cycles of fertility, I am doing the most powerful thing imaginable-- making new people and new souls.  And I thank God for the ability to have a small taste of what He did for us.  Especially because my body is being used up for these little people:

Just some thoughts while I was out walking.