The Good Housewife

So you may have seen this 1955 piece from Good Housekeeping sometime in your liberal arts education in college (if not, ask for your money back-- what did you learn in Sociology 101 anyway?).  When we first saw it in Civicus in the early 2000s it seemed appalingly ridiculous.  Women treated as slaves.  Or animals.   Degrading, sexist, archaic.  And then I fell in love and got married, and here comes the big However....

HOWEVER,  now that I am a housewife, and naturally, if i'm going to be something, I want to be a good something, a few of these notes have some value to them (a few of them are still ridiculous, see the last one).  Things like "Try to make sure your home is a place of peace" or "Be happy to see him" are reasonable enough and truly speak to a homemaker's goals.  Lately I've been focusing on an effort embodied in the second tip, (I don't know if you can read this), that says, "Prepare yourself.  Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives [i love that part].  Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair [wow, they must be writing this just to me!] and be fresh-looking.  He's [husband] just been with a lot of work-weary people."

Since I've been staying at home for the last year (not including immediate post-partum time), I have tried to put my best face on for Cody when he comes home.  Afterall, he's the one who has to work, and I get to be at home.  I feel bad for him.  But, I also want him to know that I love him and that I want to look nice when he sees me.  In law school when we were dating, of course I would make sure that my hair looked nice, my make up was flattering and I was rockin a sweet outfit whenever I saw him.  Why should that be any different now?  I'm still in love with him, I want to impress him when he comes home and I want him to think, wow, she loves me so much she got pretty for me!  Some other things I do just out of courtesy for a person I love dearly and know well.  I know that Cody gets stressed out when the kitchen is a mess.  If I have some extra time, I make sure the kitchen is put back together after preparing dinner.  Now, cleaning the kitchen ranks exactly LAST on my favorite chore list.  I would rather do 10 loads of laundry and vacuum the entire house twice.  But, I know Cody likes a clean kitchen and I know he receives love though acts of service, so I try to keep that in mind.  (Full disclosure, this doesn't get done nearly as often as I woud like-- I just cleaned the kitchen top to bottom for my Good Friday penance. enough said). 

Back to getting refreshed for Hubby-- Sean usually wakes up a little bit before Cody comes home, and every so often he comes into my room with me as I "get ready for Daddy."  Now, I certainly don't do this everyday.  Some days Cody comes home early from the Jail and we go for a family run together, or I've just gotten back from a run when he pulls up. But, on days that I'm just putzing around the house cleaning up, etc, I like to touch up my make up, but a ribbon in my hair and but a nice(r) outfit on.  Sean's really taken to the idea, and a few of his comments lately make me wonder if we've taken it too far.  For example:

-One day I last week I woke him up from his nap and I was still wearing running shorts from our walk earlier.  He said in his groggy post-nap state, "Mommy, go put a skirt on for Daddy."  Hmm...

This one was so sweet-- we often talk about what Sean will be when he grows up, whether he will be a priest or have a family and be a Daddy.  He hasn't decided yet.  But, the other day he said, "Maybe Seannie's family will get pretty for him when he comes home one day."  The tenses were all mixed up, and I couldn't quite figure out what he was getting at, but after he said it a few times, I got it, and all I could do was hug him and think how sweet is this boy? 

Yesterday Sean saw some of our more familiar neighbors walking their familiar dog whom Sean loves, Maggie Rose.  As they were walking away from our near-daily meeting, I said, "Maggie Rose is a pretty dog."  Sean said, "Maggie Rose is a pretty black dog.  Is she wearing make up, Mommy?"

Here's to the good housewife, raising little boys who want pretty wives of their own.  Have I just contributed to another generation of sexism?  I just want my boys to fall in love with women who love them enough to want to look pretty for them, that's all.  Or they can be priests.  Or the Pope.