Annalisa's Birth

I am stealing a few moments while Annalisa sleeps and Cody starts getting the boys ready for bed.  Tonight is our first night on our own with three--we had a nice family dinner, Cody tackled with the boys and is reading them books now.  A glimpse of what normal might look like in a few weeks--hopefully without the extreme exhaustion of not sleeping for the last 3 nights!  I wanted to get Annalisa's birth story down while it is still fresh in my mind.

As I said before, I have been having regular, intense contractions most of July.  We never dreamed I would be late with Sissy because we thought I was in labor so many times before her due date!  When my mom came and went without any baby being born, I was so dejected and just began to give up on going into labor on my own.  Saturday night Cody and I got a babysitter and went to a movie (the new Batman), which is the only thing we've done outside of the house for weeks, for fear I would be in labor.  Throughout the movie I was having hard contractions about every 20 minutes--I'm sure I was a sight for the two teenage boys sitting next to us.  I enjoyed the movie just fine, but would have to check out and look down and do my breathing exercises every time a contraction came.  True to form, by the time we got home and went to bed around 11 that night, they had subsided. 

Sunday came and we went to church and Starbucks as usual.  I took a long nap and then drove (myself) to pick up my dad from the airport, who was supposed to be coming to help the week after the baby came!  That night we had a normal dinner and put the boys to bed.  Then, we introduced my dad to the downfall of American culture and made him watch the season finale of the Bachelorette.  If you're not familiar, the season finale of those shows are 3 hours long.  Throughout I was having contractions about 10-15 minutes apart.  At one point I actually said, "Don't get excited, this happens every night." 

About 10:30 or 11 I went up to take a shower and work through some of the contractions in the tub, fully expecting them to subside in the next 30 minutes when I went to sleep.  They didn't subside though, but got more and more painful, still probably 8 minutes apart, which I have done several times this month.  At midnight Cody was still reading his book in bed as I putzed around with these contractions.  At that point I said to him, "I'm going downstairs to putz around, if this is still going on when I get back, I'm going to need you to put your book down and pay attention to me."  To his credit, we had done this so many nights before, I think he was trying to stay calm and NOT get my hopes up that I was actually in labor.  At midnight I texted my sister that I was still having irregular contractions, not sure what it meant, update later.  Still didn't really think I was in labor.

I came back upstairs to Cody and asked him to say a rosary while I laid down and worked through some relaxation visualization.  We have done ALL the reading on natural labor, so I went to my peaceful spot in my head, did my yoga breathing, and settled in to listen to Cody say the rosary and a long night of working through contractions in our very own bed.  I had prepared my "Birth" playlist weeks ago, and was ready to go get the iPod, as well as my Lavender essential oil for Cody to rub on my head. My ideal vision of natural labor at home lasted for exactly one decade of a rosary, which is about 6 minutes.  Then Cody said, I think we need to get going. While I wanted to labor at home, the amount of pain I was in led me to not argue.  Let's go. 

We once read in a natural birth book that if it takes you less than ten minutes to get to the car, you're leaving for the hospital too soon.  It took us a while (longer than ten minutes for sure), because by the time we decided to go I was having paralyzing contractions every 2-3 minutes.  I would drop onto the floor, let out a guttural labor sound, unable to move for 1-2 minutes.  By the time I crawled toward the front door I started vomiting, in Jamesie's shoe bucket (shoes thrown out at the last second).  At this point Cody is frantically moving stuff to the car while my dad stays with me.  I am yelling "I can't do this," and "How do people do this?"  over and over.  Cody and I both had the same thought-- vomiting and "I can't do this" are both signs of transition-- which means pushing is coming very soon....and we are no where near getting to the hospital.  At this point it was about 12:45--where did this come from?  We were just watching the Bachelorette a few minutes ago, and now I'm in transition?  At this point some choice words (expletives) started coming out of my mouth.  

In the car, bucket in hand, my normally rule-following husband started running red lights, hazard lights on, breaking any sort of speed limit on the way to the hospital.  I was so proud of him. I was yelling to "step on it...NOW" in between contractions.  We got to the hospital about ten minutes later, found a great parking spot, and went in the entrance we've been in about 100 times before.  But, in my labor disorientation I was walking anywhere but the right way, heading into a utility closet and then freaking out when I saw our normal elevator was closed.  Cody found a wheelchair and was running me through the hospital.

We got to Labor and Delivery and Cody announced the essentials-- she's in labor, 2 minutes apart, vomiting, 3rd baby, etc.  The nurses could not have been more calm.  They see this every day, and she's probably not as far along as she thinks she is.  I am screaming for them to call my doctor, and they try to lead me into a side room (not a delivery room) for "observation."  I have been there before, they put you on a fetal monitor and check to see how far along your labor is.  That is not where you have babies.  I tell them, "I'm not going in there.  I know what happens in that room, and I'm not going in there.  I need a real room, NOW."  Uh huh, sure, they are thinking.  At which point a debilitating contraction hits, and I hit the floor, all fours, moaning my labor sound--in the middle of the hospital hallway.  After this display the nurses found a room for me. 

In the delivery room the resident doctor checked me and announced I was 9 cm.  Another choice word left my mouth out of sheer surprise-- again--when did this happen? We were JUST at home watching TV!  Finally, they agree to call my doctor, and I try to keep cool during a few contractions so she can get there in the next ten minutes.  When Dr. Villers (who has now delivered all three of our babies) arrived, she told me I was 10 cm and could start pushing anytime I wanted. 

I did not want.  I was in so much pain with each contraction I could not imagine moving, much less bearing down to push HARD during one.  Cody told me during one contraction I was trying to climb off the bed, and began pulling at his beard. I had no control of myself during contractions. In between contractions the room was so calm and quiet-- just me, Cody, Dr. Villers and one nurse.  The iPod of "Birth" playlist never got going--there was just silence in between contractions.  So, I explained that I did not want to push because it hurt so much and I didn't think I would.  Dr. Villers let me go on like this for about five minutes.  During another moment of silence I realized everyone was looking at me, so I just said, "what do we do now?"  "Erin, we are waiting for you to push."  Fine.  I'll try it. 

I did one wimpy push, then two excruciating rounds of pushing. I never felt her head naturally progressing through me like I did with Jamesie.  It was not satisfying or refreshing to push as the books say it should be.  I felt like I was pushing against a bowling ball.  But, all of a sudden, just when I thought I would die (and stated that several times), there she was!  out!  And instead of unbelievable pain, I am now laughing and yelling "there she is!  there she is!"  and once "I'm not pregnant anymore!"  And Dr. Villers then explains she came out face-up, or posterior, which is why I did not want to push and it felt so unproductive to push.  AND, its probably what saved us from an in-car or at-home delivery because her positioning bought us a few minutes.  Thank goodness. 

We arrived at the hospital sometime after 1:00 a.m.  She was in my arms at 1:50, even with my attempts at delaying pushing.  No time for any medication-- I had an I.V. port put in me at some point, but nothing ever went in it.  No time to change into a gown-- I delivered in my clothes.  No time to think about what to do-- just react to my body.  And five minutes after I thought I would die I was laughing and smiling and never happier.  30 minutes later, about an hour after we arrived in our room, everyone had cleaned up and gone home.  2:15 a.m. and Cody and I looked at each other, alone with our beautiful baby girl, and said, "what just happened?"  Beautiful Annalisa happened:

Probably 10 minutes after having her.  The calm, happy look on my face is puzzling to me now as I could have sworn I would die just ten minutes prior.  However, after one c-section and one pitocin birth, this is BY FAR the best I have ever felt post-partum. I felt completely normal...just not pregnant anymore!

Depending on how you look at it, I was either in labor for a month, or about 2 hours.  It was a painful, dreadful, depressing month and an excruciating two hours.  Both were worth it, a hundred times over.