I Love the Sound of a Crying Baby

Remember that old adage that you should always wear a clean pair of underwear in case you had to go to the hospital for an emergency?  (at least that's how I remember it).  I'll get to that part of this story later. 

Yesterday the boys and I were enjoying a peaceful morning with our friend Bridget (who used to be Sean's Nanny, and comes in 2nd place to Beth the Girl as to favorite people in the world) at her apartment complex's pool.  The boys were hungry, so we started lunch there on the pool deck-- PB&J and grapes (the grapes were cut).  Jamesie was "inhaling" the grapes.  Then he did inhale a grape--right into his trachea.  At first he coughed and gagged a little, then he was silent--no air in or out--no crying, no gagging, but struggling and panicking.  I finger-swooped him --he tends to gag on things, so we finger swoop him a lot.  Nothing happened, so in a panic I nearly threw him at Bridget (who was holding her own baby on her lap at the time), with the instruction "do something!"  Bridget is an R.N., and has more medical knowledge in her trachea-swooping pinky finger than I ever could.  She finger swooped, nothing happened.  Then, the dreaded words of her telling me to start calling for an ambulance.  I fumbled for my phone and was barely able to dial 911 for my shaking hands, as Jamesie then lost conciousness and passed out-- blue and purple.  I was a mess, he was limp, Sean was staring at him, and by this time Bridget was administering the Baby-Heimlich, which includes back-blows between his shoulder blades.  I was shaking and shouting into the phone, "My baby is choking!"

Thank God for Jamesie's Guardian Angel who might very well be named Bridget.  The grape eventually dislodged itself, but Jamesie was then spitting up blood, and while he was breathing, it was very labored and we could hear that the breathing passage was still somewhat blocked--I was scared with any breath the grape could get stuck again.  I think because his breathing was so labored his hands and feet remained blue and he just slumped over in my arms, as I kept his head facing down somewhat so he didnt choke on the blood coming up.  He was recovering from losing consciousness when EMT came, but his color was finally back, and he was breathing normally by then--although very limp and lethargic for the lack of oxygen.  Apparently, if the Heimlich is performed on a baby that size he qualifies for an automatic trip to the emergency room to check for broken bones and other internal damage.  Plus, we never saw the grape come back out, so they needed to see if it was actually in a lung.  So, Jamesie and I got an exciting ride to the E.R. in a blaring ambulance, and Sean got to spend the afternoon with Bridget.  Sean was an absolute champ--he was completely quiet and calm throughout the entire event, and just said "I love you" when we left.  Later that evening he gave us a minute-by-minute account of the whole day and interrupted at dinner to say, "Excuse me Mommy, you have to tell Daddy about the grape in Jamesie's lung."  Oh, yes, thank you for reminding me about that!

A few hours after our EMT encounter and he checked out (mostly) A-OK at the ER.  A trip to the pediatrician this morning showed he was definitely A-OK.   While at the ER Jamesie's Guardian Angel pulled a few more strings, as both of our attending docs were Notre Dame grads (might be common in a Chicago ER, but rarely do you meet an ND grad in Charleston, SC, much less two at the same time, who are in charge of your son's medical care). 

And now let me rewind to the beginning of our day.  Cody was out of town at a PD Conference (and had to high-tail it back to Charleston after my 911 text), and I was feeling quite lazy and relaxed in the morning.  We had a busy few days with preschool and running the home by myself, so I decidedly took things slow on this particular morning.  That meant Jamesie had his morning nap in his jammies and Sean had breakfast in just underpants (per his request).  Seeing as we were just going to Bridget's pool right after the morning nap, what would be the sense in changing the child into clothes just to change him into swim trunks as soon as we got there?  Besides, its just Bridget's. 

3 hours later I am in the E.R. with my naked baby, wearing just a diaper.  I think-- they're performing chest exams on him, its normal not wear any clothes, right?  Well, then he started getting cold, and what do I have to dress the child in?  Jammies.  ***I swear, this is the first time in the last 17 1/2 months he has ever gone out of the house in pajamas.  This would happen.  We looked like complete hobos-- no shoes, no socks, just football-themed pajamas in the middle of the afternoon.  When Cody picked us up from the hospital at about 3:00 pm he was considerate enough of my delicate emotional state to decide not to mention our son's attire.  Also, when the ambulance came to the pool, I got into it in just my swimming suit, until the nice lady-EMT said, "do you want to get any clothes before we go to the hospital?"  Yes, I do.  Thank you for thinking for me.

So, yesterday evening as the boys slept peacefully in their beds we thanked God for our Guardian Angels, for Bridget and for our boys.  In a matter of minutes the outcome could have been completely different and we could have been having a very different sort of night.  I am shaken to the core thinking about it, but as my grandmother reminded me last night, "I'm sure you are scared, but its over now, and you have to stop thinking about it and move on.  You start over again tomorrow."  That's the wisdom of someone who successfully raised 5 boys into adulthood. 

Oh, and just to comment on the title of this post, the sweetest sound yesterday was hearing his little wimpering cry after he could breathe again.  Unfortunately, Jamesie is also a breath-holder when he cries, so we actually witness him pass out from not breathing about once every week or two.  As I was telling the EMTs--this isn't the way he normally passes out, and usually when he passes out he comes back much quicker.  While the pediatrician assures us he is not doing any neurological damage when he cry-passes out, it is still completely unnerving for a mother to watch her son turn blue, purple, then fall over with his eyes rolling back.  I hate it, and I always rejoice when I hear his little cry come back. 

Guardian Angels, pray for us and protect us! 

And, just in case you need a refresher on what to do in a choking-baby situation:

http://children.webmd.com/guide/choking-rescue-procedure-baby-younger-than-1-year

I recommend you read the WebMD instructions, but this is what the back-blows should look like.  Although, the doctor explained it to me with his head sideways.  There are also front compressions to do, which you can see on the WebMD explanation.

Smushy-face and other sweet shots

I can't help it, these pics are just too cute not to share.  From Labor Day weekend with the Groebers in Anderson--enjoy!

Those smushy little lips are so kissable!

I love the ears folded forward.  hehe.

This is Jamesie's headshot for his milk commercial audition.  Or, Cody forgot a spoon and is trying to feed him yogurt off of a banana.  It worked surprisingly well.

Sweet cuddly baby James.

Air!

Big brother was getting a little jealous of the attention given to Jamesie's arms in the air.  Lately whenever we swoon over something Jamesie does Sean is quick to show us he can do it too, no matter how remedial-- like saying the word "ball," or pointing and grunting at something he wants.  Or putting his hands in the air.

This is what heaven will be for me-- a baby resting on my chest while on a boat on a lake in the summer.

times two.

Sweet Seannie

This morning:

Erin: Hey Sean, you want me to sit down and watch Cat in the Hat with you for a few mintues?
Sean: No, I want you to watch with me allllll of the minutes.

With God, All Things are Possible

Althought its a bit early for Halloween, Sean and I have been brainstorming some theme-costumes for the family lately.  We haven't decided on anything.  This was one of Sean's ideas yesterday though:

Sean:  Maybe I can be Bono for Halloween, and then I will go inside yours and Daddy's radio [pointing to the Ipod] and I can sing, and then God and Jesus can bring me back out again.  Do you think that would be a good idea Mommy? 

Yes, good idea.

And, while I'm at it, I'll share this conversation from yesterday too:

(Tucking Sean in for his nap):
Sean: When I grow up I'm going to sleep in bed with Mommy and Daddy.
Erin: No, when you grow up you'll sleep in a bed with your wife, or just by yourself.
Sean: Why will I sleep in a bed with a wife?
Erin: That's what Mommies and Daddies do when they get married.  So, when you get married to a girl, you will share a bed with her.
Sean: [perplexed look]
Erin:  [preparing myself for a long-winded talk about vocations] You can get married to a girl-- like Greta, or Cora, or Maggie...
Sean: [Dead-pan serious face]: Or Beth.
 [Vocations talk will wait until later].

Sorry, Micah. 

St. Gianna Beretta Molla

This month our bookclub is reading St. Gianna Beretta Molla: A Woman's Life by Giuliana Pelucchi.  I usually don't like to discuss bookclub readings before the meeting, but this book made such an impact on me I would feel remiss if I didn't recommend it to all of you.  This book gripped me right from the beginning--it took me one day to read, and I am not a fast reader.

St. Gianna is a modern day saint (1922-1962).  She married when she was 33, had 3 children, and during her fourth pregnancy doctors discovered a large tumor on her uterus.  She instructed the doctors to remove the tumor, but not the uterus, and if medical treatment required a decision, her baby's life was to be saved before her own.  The initial surgery was succesful and she carried the baby to term, delivering a healthy baby girl.  However, complications from the tumor and delivery caused her to die days after delivery.  The other option on the earlier surgery was to remove the entire uterus which would have surely saved her life but killed the baby inside.  She was decidedly against this route. 

For a few years I have known the brief 1-2 sentence story of St. Gianna--she sacrificed her life for her unborn child and her name is a favorite among Catholic babies recently-- but I knew little else.  This book focuses mostly on her life prior to her sacrificial decision, a life that is one of an every day saint.  She prayed incessently, visited the Blessed Sacrament (if not mass) daily, and was so practiced in making decisions according to God's will, not her own, in her daily life, the big decisions later on came easily.  In everyday life she lived to serve others, her husband, her children, the poor in her community, her parents, her siblings, her friends-- that when she was asked to die for another, she was able to peacefully submit.  She was an everyday, ordinary saint who was also ultimately heroic.

Perhaps the most surprising fact about St. Gianna (for me), was that this pious, devout wife and mother was also a full-time practicing physician.  She had a relatively late vocation, getting married at 33, and when she met her husband she already had an established practice of her own and loved the work.  She continued working after they were married, after their first, second, and third baby.  All the while, the description of her home was warm, welcoming and organized.  I truly feel like I could not manage to work full time and mother full time (much less keep a warm, welcoming and organized, ahem, functioning, home), so this woman doing both in the 1950's is an amazing and inspiring picture of a strong wife and Christian.  I think we are sometimes too quick to put people into boxes--I know when I first heard of St. Gianna-- the saint of pregnant women, wives and mothers-- the possibility of her working full time didn't even cross my mind--of course she had to be a stay-at-home mother to be a saint.  This is proof that God works in everyone, and sainthood is not reserved to those women who choose to work or choose to stay home.  Women can be eachother's worst (most judgmental) critics-- so we would all do well to remember that God does not discriminate between stay at home moms and working moms.

Often people ask whether St. Gianna's decision to give her life to spare her unborn baby's was in fact an unjust decision, given that it left 3 other children motherless (not to mention a husband left to raise 4 babies on his own).  Is it a moral decision to save one if it means abandoning three (plus husband)?  Some argue not.  This is how I think of it though: If I were playing with my children outside and one ran into the road, where a car were about to hit him (excuse the male pronoun, but I only know boy-babies), I don't think I would hesitate to throw myself in front of the car to save him.  I daresay any mother out there would throw herself into the line of danger to save her child.  Why should that decision be any different because the baby is still inside you?  If you believe that the child inside is just as much his own human person as your other children (which I do), would you not make the same sacrificial decision for that child?  As for St. Gianna, I think the calculus was actually a little more optimistic--there was at least a chance both she and the child would survive after the initial surgery.  Being a skilled doctor though, many say that she knew the full weight of her situation as she made her decision. 

In addition to being a heroic picture of sacrificial motherhood, and a full-time doctor, St. Gianna was pretty!  She was very attractive, she wore nice, trendy, feminine clothes and string of pearls.  She was athletic and fit--she skied and hiked regularly.  She loved her husband passionately and often wrote him letters expressing her love in no uncertain terms.  The pearls, the athleticism and the passionate love for your man, I can all relate to.  I think these little details make her more accessible to me, and make me want to follow her daily example of prayer and sacrifice for others that much more (or at least make me think that I can be more like her).  A string of pearls or a detail of her marriage make her seem more real, and less saint-like to me. 

Yet, I have found myself wondering this week how a saint, however "real" to me, actually ran a home.  I wonder if St. Gianna's "firm" voice when disciplining her children ever crossed that line of frustration and turned into yelling, or if she ever turned her back on a full sink of dishes, or left hair in the bathroom sink when she knew her husband hated that.  Did she ever leave a basket of clean laundry in their bedroom for a week and get dressed out of its contents?  Did she hate brushing the baby's teeth, or have a "hot spot" of clutter on the kitchen counter where the day's and week's junk mail, kaleidascopes, baby hairbrushes and markers gathered?  She was real, yes, but did she encounter the daily failures that I do everyday, or did this "everyday saint" have a different way of approaching these seemingly trivial, yet very trying details? Whatever the reality of her home was, I can keep her simple joy as an example in my daily life, and I can do a better job to make my work my prayer and joyfully submit to it, knowing that I am serving my family and fulfilling God's vocation for me.  Even when brushing the baby's teeth. 

Years before her ultimate decision, St. Gianna said, "Our task is to make the truth visible and loveable in ourselves, offering ourselves as an attractive, and if possible, heroic example."  Living fully and joyfully we can indeed make the truth of God's love visible to others, even in our most mundane and tiresome daily tasks. 

St. Gianna, pray for us!

He's DONE IT!

Just a day shy of his 17-month birthday, 5 months after learning how to crawl, I think I can finally, officially, unreservedly say that Jamesie WALKED!  Now, this of course is different than Jamesie "is walking," but it is a HUGE *step* in the right direction over here. 

Jamesie obviously takes his sweet time reaching his milestones, and he very much eases into them.  He tried out crawling about four steps at a time for about a month before he decided to actually crawl.  He has been cruising furniture for months, without actually letting go to try it on his own.  He tries words out for a week and then we won't hear them again (ever).  He just eases into things.  So, Jamesie actually took his first step the day after my birthday, on August 23.  I know his tendency to try things out and decide he doesn't like it though, so I didn't get too excited.  True to form, in the 3 weeks since August 23 he has taken 2 steps on 5 occassions.  I can confidently say at least the first three times he did not like it.  In fact, when we would pick him up and balance him by holding his hand and try to make him repeat it, he would adamently sit down, kick his legs and scream. 

Then, yesterday he did repeat, and he kept going, to make it 4 steps while going after a ball.  We all clapped and cheered for him and he genuinely liked the attention.  Again, I didn't get too excited, thinking we might have a repeat performance by Christmas.  BUT, today when it was just Jamesie and me together, he pursued the baseball I was holding for a full 8 steps before he realized what had happened and decidedly sat down and crawled the rest of the way to me. 

Here he is trying out standing for one of the first times by himself.  Yes, the boat is moving, and yes, that is his lifejacket on the floor next to him. 

Walking is so liberating!

Sean loves to help Jamesie walk.  Jamesie on the other hand could live without it.  Yes, Sean is wearing a toddler size bathrobe.

I should note that Jamesie is very tall for his age, so he looks like a HUGE baby when he crawls.  He is the average height of a 24-month old, so he gets a few stares when he crawls.  He does not need to be crawling anymore--and now we are just a little closer to making that happen! 

Game Day!

GO IRISH!

Summer 2011 Catch-Up Part 2

I'm still catching up on all the wonderful events of our summer, including a pretty big one-- Sean's birthday.  I realize this post is about 2 months late, but it was such a wonderful day I had to document it--better late than never. 

If you've lost track of how old Seannie turned on his birthday this year-- see the next few photos.  This has been his pose for most of the summer:

Still can't fingure it out?  He turned f-wee.  That comes after two, and is officially big-boy territory.   For weeks leading up to the big-3 he had been telling us that when he's 3 he'll stop sucking his thumb.  On his 3rd birthday he did not suck his thumb during his nap.  His nap was drastically shortened because he couldn't get back to sleep, but I was really impressed with his self-will not to give in.  That lasted one afternoon.  For the next 2 weeks at every nap and every night-time he said, "I will stop sucking my thumb tomorrow."   We've been waiting for "tomorrow" for 2 months now.

Some shots from his party:

Sean asked for very few things for his birthday, but one was a George Cake.  This was the final decision after waffling between a George Cake, a Rosary Cake, a Tank-Top Cake and a Shark Cake.  I was happy with his decision.

Sean with his presents, and the inspiration for a "Tank Top Cake."

After a George Cake, Sean asked for only two things for his birthday, a kaleidascope and a fishing pole. 

What a lucky little boy!

Carrying on a tradition my siblings had, I had Sean pick out a present for Jamesie on Sean's birthday, as a way to say "I love you."  Sean had it in his head that we would get Jamesie a Little Lamb.  We looked and looked and looked, and finally, on the last display in Barnes n Noble, on the last day before the party, we found a soft little lamb.  I just thought his idea was so sweet.  And Jamesie loves on his little lamb still-- he kisses and hugs it all the time, even if he throws it out of the crib every night in favor of one on one time with Frogger.

And of course, perhaps one of the best birthday presents for Sean was seeing Beth the Girl.  Although, I think he's catching on that Jamesie likes her too (and maybe Micah).

What does your laundry say about your life?

Our's says its officially football season:

These are actual stacks of laundry in our family room right now-- not staged.  Thanks to Tom and Colleen for a family's supply of The Shirt from Notre Dame this year!

Sean's First Day of School

Even as I write the title to this post, I can scarcely believe our baby is off to pre-school today.  When did this happen?  When did he learn how to talk to other children and other adults himself, and go potty, and choose his own toys, and eat lunch by himself?!  Not only is this a milestone of his growth thus far though, today marks the first day that he will be learning something other than what Cody and I have taught him.  I keep thinking about that and it definitely pulls on my separation-anxiety heartstrings a little bit.  One day (maybe today!) he will come home and know something we did not teach him.  Someone else will impart knowledge and wisdom to him, from today until he's done with school, maybe 20 years from now.

I think I had more nervous excitement than Sean did today-- I actually got up when our alarm went off (or very soon afterwards), and had a whole to-do list for the morning that was done 20 minutes before we had to leave for school!  I was trying not to make him nervous, and he seemed to be genuinely excited.  We practiced saying "Goodbye, I love you" in the car on the way there, and I packed a little picture of our family in his backpack just in case he wanted to look at it.  Drop off when really well, and now Jamesie is snoozing in his crib as I enjoy another cup of coffee in a very quiet home this morning. 

Sean really wanted to hold the flag for his picture.

Just to give some perspective to how I feel today, here are Sean and I on the same porch steps just a few months ago.  Oh wow, I mean 4 years ago. 

Cody had to be in court at 9:00 this morning, and school drop off is at 8:45.  Last night he kept trying to figure out a way to be there at drop off and still make it to court on time (including a trip to his office to get his files).  It just wasn't going to happen.  But, other mornings Cody will definitely get his turn, plus he will be able to pick up a few afternoons after lunch on his way to the jail.

Sean's pre-school is at an Anglican/Episcopal church downtown.  The parish is very close to Roman Catholicism in its liturgy and beliefs, and the parish as a whole has many Catholic charisms and traditions.  We felt very much at home during our visits. 

The pre-school is a Montessori program, which I have been reading up on the last few days, and very much believe in.  My niece Eva finished her sixth grade at a Montessori school, and my mom has always advocated the philosophy.  As part of this Montessori program the school does Catechesis of the Good Shepard, which is a Montessori-based religious education.  We had good friends participate (and teach) this program when we were in South Bend, and the results seem phenomenal, so we are very excited about Sean having this opportunity.  Even though it is a great program, they seem to be scarce around the country, so we were extatic when we found one here!

The other children in Sean's class came to the door to greet him this morning.  I think this went a long way in actually getting him in the door.  I have read that the Montessori program puts great emphasis on being caring toward the other children in one's class, and I definitely felt that today.  The director of the preschool had to give me a little talk last week about being able to say goodbye, then leave.  do not go in the classroom.  I did it today, and I have to say I did very well, despite wanting to run in their with him and play with him.  Jamesie and I just turned around and scooted out of there, leaving Sean to work and learn on his own!  Incidentally, Jamesie got very mad when we left because he wanted to stay and play with the children.  He put up a little stink when he caught on that we were leaving.

Happy Labor Day Weekend

***This post was supposed to auto-publish on saturday morning, but it didn't.  Enjoy it now!**

Happy End of Summer :(.... Just a few cute shots of our patriotic duo to get through the weekend.  Stay tuned for a First Day of Preschool update after Labor Day...very exciting happenings over here! 

This shot actually took a lot of work--waving a ball in the air for them both to look at.  You'd never know they're looking at something, right?

Even though this one is blurry, this is the shot I was going for from Jamesie.  When I brought out the camera he would flash me a smile (recognizing the camera for the first time today), then as soon as I could snap the picture he would turn into the baby in the above two pictures. 

Here's another shot of smiling baby--he's doing the fake baby-smile that toddlers learn to do when they see mom and dad's camera.  I have always thought its hilarious when kids do that, and Jamesie just started it today-- I was pretty surprised when I saw him intentionally smile.

The other thing he started doing today is exploring the fireplace hearth by crawling all over it like a cat.  He thinks its his personal play space. Maybe b/c Sean is disinterested in the hearth, so Jamesie finds solace and peace there for once.

And...just in case it rains inside today, Sean is prepared.  The hurricane last week got him pretty excited and he's been sort of attached to his rain boots and umbrella since then, in hopes of another hurricane soon.